Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
