whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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