Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
are you so shy because you have an std?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize