He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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