I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
