there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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