i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
you inspire me to be a worse person
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
