there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
