I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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