I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
two words...techno handjob
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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