Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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