my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
