Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
