I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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