This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
