I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
