i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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