Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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