K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
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It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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