i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
