how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
