also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I wish I only lived at night.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
