I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
