Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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