wanna go halves on a baby?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
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