you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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