Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
