i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
