..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
