Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
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