You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
