I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
