i just had sex bonerless
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
