I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize