doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I think my nap took me to another dimension
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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