she was so not down for the gang bang
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just gargled with NyQuil
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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