Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
