HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
