Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
