im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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