Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
