no one should ever give us hovercrafts
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
