okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
