can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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