I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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