On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize