ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
