Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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