I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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