i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
