so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
