worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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