Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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