Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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