I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
