I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
