My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
