Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
