Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
